Family Sues Holiday Park After Wind Keeps Them Up All Night

A family from Hull is suing a local holiday park, as their holiday was “ruined by the noise of the wind on the caravan roof.” They claim they “didn’t sleep a wink” during their weekend stay.

Joe a father of 3 who told us he has never seen an episode of Games Of Thrones, and surprisingly, doesn’t do cross fit (we only assume this as he didn’t immediately tell us upon our arrival) said “The wind was ridiculous, who decides to put a holiday camp near the sea were everyone knows it will be windier?”

The irony of everyone knowing that it is windier near the sea and then still going on holiday there seemed to be lost on Joe.

“The wind was that bad I couldn’t even hear the sound of my own farts.”

We contacted the holiday park in question and the responded to Joe’s claim about his holiday being ruined.

They said “we are aware of a gentleman’s dissatisfaction with his stay recently due to it being a bit windy. We had received no complaints from the person in question whilst he was staying here with us. The first we are hearing of an impending lawsuit is through this very newspaper. Sadly, as much as we would like to have special weather producing powers, we don’t and we cannot be held accountable for said weather.”

We were unable to get a photo of Joe and his family today due to Joe currently being enrolled in a “Get your compo face newspaper ready in seconds” course at the local college. “I’m not prepared to break the compo face oath I took before I started this course, I still have 3 lessons left!” Joe told us.

This reporter can tell you though, the course is clearly working its magic so far, Joe had a perfect arms folded stance. He does however need to work on his pet lip and sad eyes.

Joe’s wife, Alix, said that she cannot wait to spend the compensation on a Jacuzzi for their back garden and some new sandals for the dog.

Joe plans to get in contact with his solicitor this week to begin legal proceedings against the holiday park.

I think you better call Saul, Joe.

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