How A Toe Ruined My Sunday

Today I should have been going to my sons 1st proper karate tournament in Barnsley to watch him complete. Instead, as I write this, it's 8:20 am and I'm sat in A&E with a possible broken toe.


How did it happen I hear you ask? Well, you'll find out further down the post.

I got up at 6 am this morning with everyone and waved them off. I got myself ready and then hobbled to the bus stop. I couldn't risk driving just in case it was broken, as I wouldn't have been able to get the car back home. The bus was quite busy but once I got into town it was very eerie. All the shops were closed due to it being early on a Sunday and nobody was around.

The autumnal weather has almost gone and winter is slowly sneaking up on us. There was a shimmer of frost on the ground and I could see my breath in the air. I'll be honest, I was freezing my tits off, and yes, I do have tits now. I've put on a little bit of weight, OK!

Once I'd gotten to A&E and completed the self check-in, I was seen by a nurse practitioner within 5 minutes. He prodded my toe like it was a piece of jelly (Do you prod jelly?). I had to push my toe against his finger in different directions, all of which were painful and almost impossible. My toe has started to go black along the left side and it is very swollen compared to my other toe. He decided to send me for an X-Ray.

Radioactive Man!

I made my way down the corridor to the x-ray department and rang the bell as instructed (I'm a good boy). Within 2 minutes, I was in the room getting my foot naked. Whilst I was sat outside the room I noticed a sign on the wall stating that when being x-rayed you are exposed to a small amount of radiation but the potential benefit of an x-ray outweighs the risk. Fine by me, If I get superpowers from this I'll be well happy.

How did it happen?

If it is a broken toe then this will be probably the lamest way to break a bone ever. On Saturday morning we were getting ready for my cousin's wedding (I don't blame her for this by the way, honestly). The Mrs had come downstairs from straightening her hair and said she had forgotten to turn them off. 

So, being the gallant knight in shining armour that I am,  I ran upstairs to turn the plug off. As I got to the last step, I hit the stair riser with my big toe. I said "fuck, shit, bollocks" under my breath as the pain was horrific and my toe went numb. Like any good soldier though, I carried on with my mission and I'm pleased to report, the plug was successfully turned off (no need to nominate me for any awards, silent adulation is enough).

We spent the rest of the day having a great time at the wedding. Throughout the day I could feel my toe throbbing and when I got a chance to take my shoe off and have a look, we noticed it starting to go black. The Mrs said that because it's my big toe I would need to go to A&E, just in case it is broken. 

Is it broken?

Now, the time is 11 am and I'm at home finishing the rest of this post. The toe isn't broken, just badly bruised. I have to rest it and stick an ice pack on it.

I kind of wish it was broken. I feel shit for missing Josephs karate tournament, especially for something as stupid as this. The only consolation is that I know there will be plenty more tournaments to go watch him unless of course, I sprain my wrist opening a bottle of juice or something.





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