I fear I'm losing my son

I fear I'm losing my son, I just don't seem to be able to connect with him anymore. We constantly bicker and I am constantly telling him off. He is five years old. I love him so much and I hate that I am always telling him off. Maybe I'm too strict but then he answers back and it just makes things worse.

I look drugged. I'm not. I wish I was.

I can't stand it when people answer me back with an attitude, saying "he's only five" doesn't help me, or help my brain anyway. I'm not sure how to handle it.

His behaviour is all my fault and I know that I'm the one that needs to make the change, after all, he is only five. I just don't know how to do it.

When he is behaving well, he is amazing, he is so nice to be around and we have fun. We have what I think a father and son relationship should be. When he's naughty I really can't stand to be around him. I know that sounds bad but when he is naughty his behaviour stresses me out so much I can't handle it. I then shout at him and tell him off. He now, shouts back as he is at that age. It just then becomes an argument. With a five year old. Which is as stupid as it sounds.

He doesn't listen, he answers back, he shouts and screams in your face, he will stamp, throw things and tell me he hates me and doesn't love me.

I know I'm probably not alone in this but it feels like it. Does anyone else's child behave like this?

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can connect with my son and have the relationship that I want to have with him? I just want my boy back. I don't want to feel like I'm mad at him all the time. I feel like he behaves like he does on purpose to wind me up. Which even as I write this I know it sounds stupid but that's how I feel.

Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated

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3 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear this is happening.

    It really is a case of picking your battles. At that age he is probably just testing boundaries.

    Try to spot what the triggers are. Tiredness, hunger, boredom, jealousy.

    If you can work out ways to avoid the bad behaviour before it begins.

    Buddy would always play up when I went to collect his brothers from school. I'd get frustrated as I didn't want to be late.

    Once we realised this. I made sure he got 10 mins one on one time before I left and when I returned. It was set out before hand that he would get a certain amount of time. Got a warning at 5 and 2 mins and that I would be back soon. If he acted up for his mother whilst I was out he didn't get the 10 mins when I came home.

    Have to be consistent and follow through. Give in once and they have you!!

    Communication is key. They understand more than you think. Easiest to do when you are playing with him. Explain Dad doesn't like getting cross and you know own he is a good boy so why is he behaving the way hemail does.

    Hope you work it out.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for commenting and reading this post and thanks for your advice, i will definitely be aiming for better and clearer communication with him so we can get back on track

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  2. Totally agree with Alan sometimes it's about picking your moments really sorry to hear how tough it is at the moment good luck hope it settles soon Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

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