As most of you will know (because you all read my posts, right?) that I have two children, one boy and one girl. My little girl is 14 months old, she is a long way from her teenage years but it still doesn't stop me from thinking about it and how I am going to react to certain aspects of it. This is why I wanted a guest post from someone who I knew had a teenage daughter. My first and only choice for this was Jeff who blogs at A Dads Tale.
When I started up my Twitter account and became a Blogger, Jeff was one of the first people to follow me and talk to me. I asked Jeff a few days ago if he would be interested in writing a guest post for me, he agreed and thanked me so much for thinking of him. The pleasure Jeff was all mine.
This is a great post, I know you'll all love it. Especially if you have young daughter's who are yet to reach their teenage years. I have certainly learnt something. Dad's, take note.
Things to Expect about having a Teenage Daughter
My name is Jeff Wood and you guessed it, I have a teenage daughter. My oldest girl is 18 years old, but wait I also have a Tween girl at 10 years old. The tween/teen years when dealing with daughters as a Father are some of the more interesting times in parenthood. I have found that when younger, my girls were easier than my son is. Let's face it, Daddy's little girl is not just a saying, it is a reality for us Dads.
Now all you Dads out there with little girls are probably wondering what will happen when the teen years come. How will I manage with things like dating and puberty etc are all questions going through a Dads head when thinking about raising girls. Let me put it to you this way, think of how much you fully understand your wife, what she is thinking and meaning and then look out! But here is the thing, you have 2 options once the teen years start, sit back and let your wife do everything or buck up and be involved just like when they were little girls.
For me, I still take an active role in everything my teen daughter does. It would be very easy for me to do nothing but say "go ask your mother" but I feel that would have made me loose my girl and there is no way that was going to happen.
Here are some things I have learned and maybe it will help you in the later years.
• Puberty: This one is tricky as a Dad but very important. Mom will usually take the lead on it but us as Dads can still support them even if it means running out for tampons. Now the part most people don't say is, picture your wife on the very fun time of the month. PMS is crazy to deal with am I right! Now your daughter will hit this stage and unlike your wife have no idea how to deal with the emotional rollercoaster that is coming. You will find that your wife really is good at keeping it togeather once you see how your daughter acts. This is where the phrase who lit the fuse on your tampon came from I think as a teenager is a walking time bomb. One of the best parts I found at this stage is the clumsy growth spurts, where you watch them stand still and fall over, haha so much fun as a Dad.
• Dating: Every dad is worried sick about his daughter dating. It is scary as hell and I can't sugar coat this at all. There is nothing more than picturing yourself ringing his head off the door when you first meet him. Seeing them kiss fills you with a rage you never thought was possible. But like everything with a teen girl how you handle it will either bring you closer or push you apart and when it comes to dating trust me you want your daughter to talk with you not hide. Give your girls all the info possible to help them make the right decisions and you can't stop this stage, trust me. Now I have also told my daughter that I run a backhoe at work and if any boy ever does her wrong, I can hide a body pretty fast and she should let them know that haha. Also, there is nothing wrong with a hand crushing shake when you first meet to show them Dad will not mess around.
• Your House: This is something I never thought of when my girls were little but your home takes a beating with them. My oldest leaves a trail of bobby pins everywhere, kind of like a Hansel and Grettle thing to find her way around the house I assume. Her room always looks like a bomb went off. Makeup is now in the carpets and all over everything. Nail polish streaks are all over my floor and to this day I still have no idea how the hell that happened. Your wife will loose her mind when your daughter uses all her stuff and you will get stuck in the middle of it. Chores become a heaven for eye rolls and huffs. You think lego sucks to step on, try embedding an earring into your foot let me tell you that's a new pain that happens more than you would think.
• Phone: Kiss talking face to face goodbye and get used to texting. My daughter will text me sitting beside me to ask something. I still have no idea why but you need to expect to find new ways to talk.
• Anger: The wrath of a teen girl is something horror movies should be made of. This is something I always thought I would deal with my son on but holy crap my daughter is a devil in disguise some days. I am a 280-pound man and she stands her ground with me when most men cower at my bark. Not going to lie, it is a weird, scary feeling to see a girl bark back with such force.
• Body Image: Here is something you get to deal with that as a guy really isn't a big deal. I mean we as men feel it too but for a woman, it is on a different level. My daughter has melted down more ways than I can remember and as a Dad, you will get yelled at for this. You want to fix the problem but when it comes to her mind it is very hard to deal with. Everything you say can and will be used against you in some form but hang in there, help and for the love of god choose your words wisely.
• Shopping: You are now a walking bank/clothes rack. You get to see her shop for underwear and FML that is something difficult to see her switch to a g-string and wonder who do I need to kill! Your decisions no longer matter but you still have to play the bad guy for certain styles.
• Driving: This is one of those first moments for a Dad where you get to see your life flash before your eyes, and more than once. This will happen no matter daughter or son but I can say with a daughter there is a lot of emotion involved. There have been numerous times where I told her to stop driving and walk it out and to be honest for me as well.
• Food: Now everyone with sons will tell you they eat you out of house and home but I will say daughters are no different. Both my girls are a bottomless pit and unlike Dad, don’t show it at all. WTF, I watch them eat and gain weight which is so not fair.
Now on the other side of things, the teen years become the time you get to watch your little girl become a woman. You get to see her experience life as an adult and watch her learn a whole bunch of new things. First times start happening again, some are good and some are bad. You may be having a week long fight about something stupid but when she needs help, she still is Daddy's little girl. Even as a teen your heart will melt when she comes running while crying. You may not get as many hugs/kisses as before but when they happen now it is so meaningful.
She will also be there to help around the house and surprise you with suppers all made without your help. Your Daddy/Daughter dates can now be things more on the adult side. Nothing like going to see a movie that before you had to watch while she was sleeping and now she is paying for you to see in the theatre. My teen daughter is also a great big sister and role model for her sister and brother, as a Dad that is truly heart melting.
The bond you will have now is something that will never be broken. She is becoming an adult and even though she isn't the little girl who runs up to you screaming "Daddy" anymore, she still feels that way and so do you even if it isn’t said as often. Enjoy these times in your daughters life, they can be tough but also a lot of fun with tons of humour mixed in.
I hope you enjoyed this post. You can follow Jeff on Twitter here
Thanks for reading
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