How do you deal with sibling Jealousy?

My children are 5 years old and 14 months old. As most parents will know who have two children, it is hard to split your time between them to keep them both happy. Especially if one is that bit older were they take it personally.

How do you deal with jealousy?

We try and split our time between them equally, even when were with them both together, whether that be at home or out somewhere. As Joseph is older we even aim to take him out on his own so that he doesn't feel too left out and we get to have some quality time with him. As I work full time and Joseph is at school, Kerry gets Alice all to herself and I think Joseph knows this and misses this time with his mum and me when I'm home from work. He loves his sister dearly but I do worry that he might grow up to resent her a bit.

It must be hard for 1st born children as more often than not they get a large period of time where it is just you and them. Then another child come's along and screws that up for them. There's a big adjustment needed on their part when they have to share you with another child.

joseph finds it hard sometimes and plays up when he feels Alice is getting more attention than him. Are everybody's kids like this?

Dad, why can't I sit on your head, Alice is doing it?

There's a question I never thought I'd have to answer.

We love both our children equally and more than anything. I sometimes feel that I let Joseph down as a dad, I work full-time then we have a young girl to care for, but why is that his fault? I should spend more time with and get to know him more. Maybe then we wouldn't bicker as much.

I just hope that Joseph realises that we love them both equally no matter what. Do you have sibling jealousy to deal with? How do you do it?

Thanks for reading

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  1. Our two are 9 and 5. I did have it going around in my head loads that I needed to spend quality time with my eldest to make sure she doesn't feel left out. I took her to London on a Daddy / daughter weekend.
    In reality it has ended up that the 2nd child isn't given as much special treatment. It may be different for you, but our youngest get the hand-me-downs. We spent so much time building up the first year of school with our eldest that when it was our youngest's turn we'd forgotten how frustrating it was to read Biff and Chip.
    I think the reality is that the two children will have different personalities and react differently. But the important thing to remember is that one of your children has already been set a president for what to expect, while the other is still testing the water.

    1. Thanks for the comment Alan. I'm hoping it will be easier when my youngest goes to school etc as i think theres a lot of fussing around her as shes walking now etc and still doing many things for the first time and i think thats all my eldest sees as he is still to young to understand so he sees as all the attention on her. Oh and god, Biff and Chip is awful!

  2. Ah, it gets very interesting with one at school and one who isn't. The one at school complains that the younger one gets to do all the fun stuff. I'm forever poitning out to my eldest that she got to do all the fun stuff when she was younger.

  3. Yeah thats what were like but he still doesn't get it lol. He had 4 years of us to himself which his sister will never get. Then they'll moan when their teenagers that were around them to much!


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