Come dine with me -After dinner toilet talk, stand or lean?

It's Sunday afternoon, the sun is blaring (which means the three hours and twenty five minutes of uninterrupted sunshine was our summer, sorry if you missed it). Were filling the pool up for Joseph and his cousin Charlie to play in. Our friends are coming over for dinner, what I really mean if you're from Yorkshire is tea but I'm trying to sound a bit posh.



The kids are playing outside in the pool and loving it, their oblivious to the fact it's tea time. Not me and Breako though, were sat at the table, knives and forks in hand ready to do the "we want food" chant. Hurricane Alice is keeping Anna (Breakos wife) on her toes but she doesn't seem to mind, if I leave it long enough she might just take Alice home. Brilliant. One kid down, one to go.

A couple of weeks ago the wives decided it would be a delightful idea to have a "Come Dine With Me" style competition between the four of us, each taking it in turns to cook a three course meal.

I'm thrilled!

My Mrs, Kerry was up first. She decided to go with fried halloumi chilli fries for starters. They were as awesome as they sound. Homemade salsa was also provided, the Mrs has done well here! Main course was chicken covered in a garlic cheese spread wrapped in bacon and homemade chunky chips. On the plate was also some lettuce! That's right lettuce, does my wife not know me but at all. -1 point for that low down move. Desert consisted of homemade cookie dough and homemade chocolate ice cream, which was made from....sweet potatoes! That's right you read correctly, I ate ice cream made from a vegetable. It was actually very nice, YouTube it to find out how to make it, trust me it's not as disgusting as it sounds.

Yummm! Polished that off nicely, well done wifey.

Now were all full and sat talking, the boys are outside playing still and Alice is trying to climb head first into her walker. Breako and I are talking together and the wives are talking together, suddenly me and Breako  overhear something along the lines of "yeah, when you stand up to wipe your bum...".

Say whaaat!!

Who the hell stands up to wipe their arris?

After a lengthy debate and me and Breako horrified to learn that our wives stand up to wipe their arse we came to the scientific conclusion that women must stand, and men lean. I mean you get more coverage leaning obviously. Who wants to stand or squat whilst on the throne, not me that's for sure. We got called lazy for leaning, it's not lazine,ss it's making a daily operation run quicker with less chance of tripping over your jeans.

How do you wipe yours?

(That's not an actual question I want answering by the way so feel free not to leave comments about your wiping preferences)

Thanks for reading


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